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I was 37 years old before I ever experienced real grief.  Just 4 years ago, we moved to Maine.  Two months later, we went in search of a furry friend to live with us.  We had had puppies before, and with 3 children in the house, this was an unattractive option.   We decided an adult dog was what we wanted, so we visited our local Humane Society and found Baron, a 5-year-old lab mix.  He had just arrived at the H.S. a few days before.   He had a bandage on his tail from where it had had to be lobbed off.  In fact, it is that surgery that had landed him in the H.S.  His previous owners, who must have been very good to Baron otherwise, could not pay for this surgery, so they gave him away.

We had almost 4 perfect years together.  Around the beginning of August, we started noticing that Baron seemed a little “off”.  He wasn’t eating well.  He was more lethargic.  He rarely barked at our visitors any more (his one vice).  I took him to the vet and nothing notable was discovered.  Three weeks later (last Thursday), we went in for a follow-up visit, and the vet noticed some things that he hadn’t the last time.  He recommended I bring Baron to the animal hospital for a blood test and possibly some x-rays the next day.  The results were tragic:  hemangiosarcoma, a very aggressive type of cancer.  The vet recommended against any form of treatment, as most animals with this cancer die soon regardless.  We scheduled an appointment for Wednesday to end his life, and then took him home and decided that we would love and spoil him for the weekend.  Saturday morning, Baron was happy.  In fact, Trey said he wouldn’t be able to go through with the appointment if Baron kept that up.  Saturday afternoon, Baron followed me to the basement, and he never came back up.  After dinner, Trey and I went down to check on him, and his breathing was very labored.  It was obvious that this was the end.  And it was.  We cried as we watched our beautiful and always gentle friend pass out of this world.

Here are some ways that you can be thoughtfully prepared for the inevitable.

• Costs – For any vet visits, medications, tests, and/or euthanasia, costs at the end of your pet’s life can be pretty steep.  No one likes to think of anything happening to their pet, but by putting aside some money every month, you will not have to worry about not giving your animal the care they need because you can’t afford it.
• Discuss – There is no way you can know exactly how your animal will go, but talk to your spouse and discuss your feelings and limitations.
• Children – We, as parents, would like to protect our children from all unpleasant things, but death is a part of life.  Keeping them informed as to any diagnoses and plans will allow you to grieve together.  Be prepared for questions about death and afterlife.
• a Plan – We happen to live on 3 wooded acres so we didn’t have to consider for very long what we would do with Baron’s body.  For some people, cremation is an option.  For others, a burial plot (whether at home or in a pet cemetery) is the right way to go.  We had not decided on a spot for Baron, but moments after he was gone, Trey went out to make a place for Baron.  He chose a lovely little clearing that was pretty easy to get to.  Since Saturday, we have cleared a path, and lined the path with logs.  It is now a peaceful place that will be used for years to come as a place to sit quietly and remember.
• Memorial – We were immediately desperate for ways to keep Baron around us, so we have several memorials devoted to our dog.  Trey gathered all of the photos and some video clips that had Baron in them and created a beautiful tribute DVD that we can watch over and over to remember.  We’ve named the strip of woods that Baron lie between our home and the road, in which Baron is buried, Baron’s Woods.
• Support – Your family will likely need support from others.  Be sure to let your children’s teachers know.  They can help watch for emotional distress.  Share your memories and process your feelings with others.  Our Humane Society has a Pet Loss Seminar that allows you to grieve with others who have lost a friend.  And give back for the love that you received from your pet.  Support your local humane society or other animal organization.