Marriage is a joining of two separate people who come from different backgrounds and have different personalities.  It is a partnership of trust and values.  No matter how like-minded you think you might be to your spouse or spouse-to-be, there will always be a degree of conflict.  No matter your age, your stage in life, or the number of years together, marriage is a perpetual journey.  Add children to the equation, and marriage takes on more levels of complexity.

There are, however, some very simple ways to keep your relationship positive and help you work your way through a lot of difficult situations.  Here are 7 steps to help you and your spouse continue to nurture a healthy and loving relationship.

• Renew your Commitment
  

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  If you want your marriage to be positive, you have to really want to keep it that way. You have to decide daily that the marriage is important in your life and give it the time and attention it needs. Ask yourself everyday, “Am I spending enough time and energy on our relationship?”

• Focus on the Positive
  Focus on what you like and love about your spouse. Forget the negatives. What do you choose to dwell on?  If you are having problems, begin focusing on the positive in your relationship.  Most importantly, stop when you start to criticize your spouse. Turn your thinking to what you like about them and begin to see how your marriage improves.
• Kindness Matters
  Be kind. Very often, people in relationships treat the people closest to them worse than they treat acquaintances or even total strangers.   Go the extra step first. This week, do something kind for your spouse that you wouldn’t normally do and without expectation of anything in return.
• Show your Appreciation
  Make a habit of expressing appreciation. If you do, you’ll find your marriage to be filled with much more happiness and joy. It might be something as simple as “I like your smile” or “Thank you for cooking dinner last night.”
• Be Upfront
  Many people expect their partner to be a mind reader. If you want your physical or emotional needs to be met, you have to tell people what these needs are.
• Listen Without Judgment or Defensiveness
  Be open to the possibility that someone else’s opinion or way of doing things may be just as valid or important as yours. Just because their way is different, doesn’t make them wrong. If you’re constantly judging and/or being defensive, then you’re not open to possibilities that might potentially have a positive impact on your life and marriage.
• Be Willing to Risk
  Open your heart and let your spouse in. We can be in a relationship for many years and still not allow another person to penetrate our walls of protection. If you want to have a marriage that is alive and growing, the willingness to risk is a necessity.