My daughter just turned 8 this month. She is entering the 3rd grade in less than 1 week. And although my mom didn’t sit down to give me “the talk” until I had my first crush in the 5th grade, I have found the pull leading to this conversation very strong throughout the summer. One factor that has contributed to this desire to educate my daughter on the facts of life is that many girls begin to develop breasts at the age of 9 and menstruate for the first time shortly after that. I don’t want my girl to wonder what is happening to her body. I want her to feel confident in knowing that she is right on schedule. She is a flowering beauty and there is nothing wrong with the changes that will be happening in her very soon. I certainly didn’t want her to come home one day and announce that her friends had just informed her of where babies come from. I want to be the one to teach her as much about life as I can and to feel like she learned the right way, not the misinformed/giggling way. Here are the steps I took on this journey.
- Get mentally prepared.
- Weigh the results: a child who might understand the biology of reproduction vs. a child who is blissfully and naively unaware.
- Make it a team effort. My husband wanted to be a part of this conversation and it was wonderful to have his input and support.
- Get a book. I checked out It’s Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends by Robie H. Harris from the library and read the book as a way of explaining everything comfortably. We stopped after every page and talked about what it just said and asked if she had any questions.
- Schedule a private block of time. We chose a Sunday afternoon when her younger siblings were having some downtime in front of the tv.
- Choose a comfortable, familiar location. We chose to read the book all sprawled out on her queen-size bed.
- Relax. This is a topic that you are likely not used to talking about with your child, and it might make you a bit uneasy. Try to exude a humble confidence (if such a thing exists).
- Swear him/her to secrecy. Not really, but sort of. One of the hardest parts about telling her the “secret” is that I envision her whispering it to her 6- and 4-year-old siblings. I’m not ready for that. We tried to explain that it was her maturity that allowed us to share this important information.
Have you ever given “the talk”? What steps would you add? What worked best for you?
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My daughter is the same age as yours and has been asking a lot of questions lately. I am not ready for her to be this grown-up!! My husband and I were just talking about how to go about "the talk" and trying to decide if now is the right time. Very timely post. Thanks!
My husband bought a book too, at the advice of a friend. My son sat and read it in his office while my husband did other things. He could ask questions and get clarification as he read. It worked well. Last night another friend mentioned on Facebook that she had used my husband's method and it worked. The book is key!
.-= Cindy Cotte Griffiths´s last blog .. =-.